


Transendence

by Evvaleave



Category: Cloud Atlas (2012)
Genre: F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-19
Updated: 2013-03-19
Packaged: 2017-12-05 19:32:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evvaleave/pseuds/Evvaleave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I dunno, like an in depth view of Hae-Joo Chang and Sonmi~451's sex scene. It's no big deal, I was trying to focus on the love through the sex vs, just the sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transendence

He feels her head on his chest. He knows why she does it, why she needs to hear his heart, because it’s the same reason he needs to feel her hair and the gentle weight as she lays against him. She can’t help it anymore than he can. 

He remembers the first time he saw her, frightened but curious, those impossibly big eyes peeking at him. He feels her gaze before he sees her and when he makes eye contact, there is a flash, just a flash, that tells him exactly where to touch her to make her sigh, exactly what to say to make her laugh, exactly when he last saw her. But the flash is gone and he forgets, except when she lays her head on his chest and breathes softly against his chin.

He did not go there to save her; he did not know she was there. Yoona~939 had failed and he’d been sent to clean up the mess. But she’d been there and now, he was glad to have been her rescuer, grateful it was he who found her. Not simply because she was going to save her people, save their people, save the world.

But because with her, it felt better. 

He knows she is frightened all the time. He doesn’t want her to be and it aches in his chest, such a strange ache, to know that he can’t help. So he speaks to her, softly, like she deserves, and makes her an equal, with her clothes and his actions, like she is supposed to be, like she always has been.

She denied helping them and An-Kor Apis suggested she visit the Nea So Corpus and he pleaded that she didn’t go. He begged An-Kor Apis to rethink, to stop, that it will destroy her even though that is not true. Seeing the Corpus rallied her but destroyed him to think that she had gotten so close. 

She doesn’t know the truth of her importance to him; he knows but he doesn’t say because how do you tell someone that you love them? 

So he lets her rest her head on his chest, and he smells her sweet breath as it tickles his chin, and he hopes that she will stay with him forever.

Almost as if she can hear his desire, as if she knows, she imperceptibly murmurs, but he feels the vibrations from her throat and he cannot lie there anymore. He sits up, slowly, trying not to scare her, and he sees not just fear but a boldness he hasn’t noticed before. 

“I know it is forbidden.” She murmurs. She is trembling.

He is gentle as his hand reaches around the back of her neck, burying itself into her hair, and he kisses her, like he’s wanted to since she asked about him the time he let her go. She is still and he pulls away. He can see her considering it, considering the choice that he has offered, the second choice he has offered. 

She chooses him.

He is still gentle because now he will not hurt her, never hurt her, never let her go, but for the same reason, he is just as urgent. He will not let her go.

She lets him part her mouth, starts to push back, kiss him back, her hand folding itself around his neck, pulling him closer as he pulls her closer. She slides to him, still on the floor, but that is no good, not for him; he wants her as close as possible, he wants to hold on to her firmly, forever. 

His hands travel down her sides, brushing the edges of her breasts; she gasps and her brown eyes pop open and she pulls away from him, and he has to remember that this is her first time, this is new, this must be taken gently. He grasps her elbows and lifts. She settles comfortably on his lap, her smooth legs against his, knees bent, and she blinks because now, like always, she is his equal. 

His fingers toy with her hair, having slid up her back, and he is waiting for her to decide again. He cannot help himself, as much as he tries, and he drifts closer, to sniff her neck, letting his nose slide against the column of her throat, his breath hot on her neck, lips just barely grazing her skin because if he smells it, he will taste it as well. He realizes she has let her eyes flutter shut and her head roll to let him get closer to her, so he kisses her gently and she makes a murmuring in her throat and he cannot contain himself any longer. 

He kisses her again, slipping his tongue into her mouth, letting her explore the taste of him, while he explores the coarseness of her taste buds. He thinks he’s never tasted anything better in his life. She pulls him closer, resting her body against his and he can feel her breasts, they’re soft and full, and her stomach, tight and flat, and he can feel her arousal, just barely, as their hips connect through the clothing. 

Her hands slip from his neck to his shoulders to his waist and suddenly they’re toying with the bottom of his shirt and he growls because he cannot help himself. She freezes, but isn’t frightened. She watches his face as she plays with his hem and she sees his jaw clench and she knows this is good; but she doesn't know what to do next.

He slides his shirt off, letting her fingers brush over his abdomen, across his chest, little light flutters of touch and it makes him weak inside. She circles his nipple and he lets his hands drift to the bottom of her shirt, where they dip and play, dancing over the bare skin of her hips and she shivers.

They’re kissing again, and his hands are sliding up her shirt, wide and strong and hot, as they cover her back, and he presses her to him, feeling her nipples harden through flimsy material, and he so wants to rip it off, get rid of it, but he promised for her, that this would be her choice, so he waits; and gets rewarded. 

Her nimble fingers undo one button and then the next and the next until she’s at the bottom and he slips the material from her shoulders. He kisses the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her neck, down down to the valley between her breasts and she leans back to let him have better access and she moans low in her throat as his hands hold her hips and his tongue dips into her navel. 

She pulls at his hair, and on his way back to her lips, he gently bites the underside of her breasts, and she quivers and they’re kissing again, pressed against each other, bare skin sliding on bare skin and he can finally feel her and he doesn’t think about anything else, except her.

His thumbs brush her nipples and she rocks her hips and he groans and it makes her smile, her beautiful smile, so he does the whole thing again, and this time she throws back her head and his fingers dance in her waist band. She doesn’t stop him, but helps him, standing and removing her last piece of clothing, and she covers herself, which is okay because he understands how vulnerable she must be right then, naked, doing something she’s never done, with a man who saved her life, who’s life she saved. 

He wants to show her that he loves her, so he quietly takes off his own pants, and stands, lets her inspect him, though he finds the whole situation to be sexier than it should have been. It’s when she stands behind him, running her hands down his arms, kissing his shoulders, breasts against his back, murmuring something to him, that he finally sits back on the bed and pulls her to stand between his thighs.

He kisses her again, tasting her, loving her, his fingers on the back of her neck, his thumbs under her ears. He cannot get enough of her, doesn’t want to ever get enough of her. She moans, pushes herself closer to him, and he cannot take it anymore.

He lifts her by the hips, settles her gently over his erection, letting her feel it close to her clit, but lets her make the choice. 

She chooses him. 

They don’t kiss as she lowers herself on to him, and it is much more intimate than he has ever been. Her eyes are filled with tears; there is pain; she is tight and he is stretching her, but beyond that they are filled with things she wants to tell him. She loves him and she smiles at him through the pain because she can see his love reflected back to her. 

They rock together, body slick with sweat, his hips thrusting ever harder, one hand behind him to support them, the other on her butt to hold her ever closer to him, because if she’s every any further away than this ever again, he will worry and fret and long for her. Her palms are on his cheeks, feeling stubble, feeling him, holding his mouth to hers. They aren’t kissing, just breathing each other in and as she throws her head back in an orgasm, he thinks that he has never seen anything more beautiful. It is her first orgasm. 

He follows her quickly, burying his face in her neck, smelling her, their sweat, the scent of sex in the air, and he lets himself go, lets himself relax and he can feel her do the same, her entire body easing itself against his, still coated with sweat. 

He doesn’t pull away from her, but pulls them together, backwards, to the headboard, and lays down, letting her settle on his chest, and small hum of contentment sliding from her body to his. He feels her heart slowing down, but she lifts her head, propping her chin on his chest. 

“What we did was forbidden.” She murmurs against him, blinking sad brown eyes at him. She expects to be punished. 

“Sleep, Sonmi.” He answers, stroking her hair, the black strands dancing through his fingers. “We did nothing wrong.”

She doesn’t relax and he hates that she is nervous, that making love is dangerous to her, when it should be the safest thing, the strongest thing. He has bound her to him, and she him.

“I’ll never let you go again.” His voice is quiet, a promise to himself, rather than her, but she hears it anyway and snuggles against him, burying her face in his chest, a smiling playing on her lips. 

As she sleeps, he thinks; he thinks about what will happen and how his oath will soon be broken. But her weight is comforting against his chest and he drifts off to dream with her about the life they can never have together.


End file.
